'WHY HIM?': Rape Culture Has To End!

The story of Brock Turner has been all over the media; Facebook is bombarded with constant updates on the story. And it's one we should be using as a cautionary tale for future generations because it has happened too often. A young man with a bright future throws it all away by raping a young woman. It's a story that we see too often. But what came next is worse.

The mother of Brock Turner wrote a letter to the Judge who sentenced him to 6 months in jail, declaring 'please be kind and merciful to my beautiful son'.

Does she understand that her son is a rapist? When she wakes up in the morning she asks herself 'Why him?' Does she see him as the victim?

Brock Turner did have a bright future ahead of him. And quite possibly Olympic glory lay in his future if he worked hard enough, is something any parent would be proud of. Then he was arrested. For rape. He attacked and violated a young woman who will have to live with the trauma of that attack for the rest of her life.

He's already serving a paltry six month sentence that will be shortened to three. To women everywhere that sentence is a joke. So why is his mother begging the judge to be merciful? Because he 'made a mistake'? I don't buy it. And here's why.

All our lives women have been pigeon-holed by their gender; told to smile more - and we do it because it's easier than saying no. We're told by society how we should dress; fashion magazines constantly throwing new trends before our eyes and telling us we need this new dress or these new heels. And when we wear them we're instantly a target for catcalling; if we wear it too short then we're asking for 'it'. What? What are we asking for? To be forced into a situation that we don't feel comfortable with? Women do not get dressed up for the the pleasure of men. We do it because we feel good about ourselves. Why does that suddenly mean we're asking for it? What are we asking for? Humiliation? Degradation? No, no one asks for that.

Today we are still facing horrible stereotypes. No matter how you're dressed you're judged; if you have large breasts you are constantly leered at, often times pretending not to see it because you're scared that you'll cause a scene by standing up to their bullshit.

But these are cultural stigmas that start early. They start with the parents and what they teach their children on the boundaries of respect. And Brock Turner's parents are a huge case and point.

The father can't understand why his son is being punished for '20 minutes of action' and his mother wants to know why this is happening to her son. The '20 minutes of action' was RAPE. The young woman, the ACTUAL VICTIM was assaulted and those 20 minutes of assault will forever haunt her. The mother's reaction is worse in my opinion because she is a woman, she should be aware of the way women are treated in society, yet she writes to the judge as if her son was a victim here.

Yes, his dreams of a bright future are gone. But that is all his own fault. He saw that woman as nothing but a toy; and that is partly down to his parents! How can the mother not be appalled by her son's actions? How can she plead for her son? Because she is a mother? Perhaps. But she is also a woman. She says she knows what a broken heart feels like. So does his victim. And yet people are calling it a mistake. He wasn't in an exam, he was in a position where he had a clear choice of whether to respect that woman's boundaries or gratify his own perverted sense of authority. Because that is what sexual assault is about: Power.

It is time we stopped making excuses. Claiming that they made one mistake is not good enough. If they get away with it once then they'll think they can do it again.

Assault, whether it be full on penetration or someone placing their hands on you in a way that makes you uncomfortable is not acceptable. Women have rights. And it's time authorities respected those rights rather than look for reasons to let the man off the hook. Drink is no excuse. The length of a woman's skirt is no excuse. There needs to be a cultural change within our society, beginning with how parents raise their children; it is a parents responsibility to teach their sons that a woman is a human being worthy of respect. Start here and perceptions can shift over the next generation and our sisters, nieces and daughters will be safer than our own generation is today.

A Forgotten Consort: Margaret of Denmark, Queen of Scots

Queen Margaret

On 14 July 1486, Queen Margaret of Denmark died at Stirling Castle. By her side was her son James, Duke of Rothesay, the future King James IV of Scotland. One source claimed that on her death bed Margaret said to her son, 'I pray you, through your obedience as my son, to love and fear God, always doing good, because nothing achieved by violence, can endure.' If indeed Margaret did speak such words then they would prove tragically prophetic for within two years her son would depose his father, King James III of Scotland, who would die in mysterious circumstances; twenty five years later James IV would meet his own end at the Battle of Flodden against the English in 1513.

Prince James was born on 17 March 1473, four years after Margaret married King James III. The marriage of course was arranged, with the twelve year old Danish princess betrothed to James through the Treaty of Copenhagen. King Christian I of Denmark, founder of the Oldenburg Dynasty, looked to settle old debts and expand his territories, so he agreed to pay 60,000; 10,000 florins upfront before the Scots set sail with his only daughter and a further 50,000 over the next few years. But he only managed to raise 2,000; Already he had agreed to concede the Orkney Islands to Scottish rule as surety for the 50,000 already promised, but now he offered the Shetland Islands as well to satisfy the Scottish envoys. The Danish would never raise the whole amount owed in part of Margaret's dowry and the Orkney and Shetland Isles would become a permanent part of Scotland.

When Margaret finally arrived in Scotland in July 1469 she was married to James at Holyrood Abbey. Over the next couple of years Margaret would settle into her new surroundings well, making Edinburgh her main home. The early years of her marriage to James III were successful; she produced three sons that survived to adulthood. They were both pious, offering homage to Shrines around Scotland such as St. Ninian's in Whithorn. The marriage seemed to be amicable for the most part, with the King granting Margaret wardship of their son and heir James, Duke of Rothesay. Though it appears that James was already under his mother's care from a young age, she would be a strong influence on him as he grew up.

As well as James, she also had her two younger sons, James, Marquis of Ormond and John, Earl of Mar; together they resided in Edinburgh until June 1482 when they were moved to the impregnable Stirling Castle just weeks before the King was taken and later imprisoned in Edinburgh Castle. Held under his uncles, James' nobles aired their grievances with the King - the rise of unknown men among the noble ranks while the true nobility was sidelined; the degradation of the coinage that became known as black money; his casting aside his Queen in favour of less noble company; and the banishment of his younger brother, the Duke of Albany.

Cambuskenneth Abbey

Of course once Albany heard of his brother's incarceration he returned from France, intent on overthrowing his brother and declaring himself King Alexander IV with the help of Edward IV of England. After realising that the nobles would not support him he looked to gain a position through his nephew, the Duke of Rothesay. He visited the Prince and the Queen at Stirling, inquiring about the Duke's education. Afterwards, Albany returned to Edinburgh, recruiting help he lay siege to Edinburgh castle, releasing his brother. But what did happen at Stirling?

Some sources have speculated that Margaret was a great instigator in her husband's release; that she negotiated a deal with Albany, promising a high position if he aided the King. She also had connections within Edinburgh castle through John Stewart, who she had made Keeper of castle during her own stay. Through his position he had regular access to the King. And so the King was released on 29 September 1482 through a successful coup. Afterward, some sources claimed that the relationship between Margaret and James deteriorated even further, despite the likely support she gave him. But there is no proof of this, and the year after her death the King sent an application to the Pope to have Margaret nominated for sainthood.

King James IV

She died at Stirling Castle in July 1486 with her eldest son by her side. The cause of death has been a subject of debate over the years, some believing she was poisoned by the King; others that she likely suffered from ill health for some time before dying. She was buried at Cambuskenneth Abbey, in Stirling, and two years later joined by her husband.

Upon her death her eldest son was left to become a pawn in the political upheaval between James III and his nobles, resulting in the battle of Sauchieburn two years later where James III perished; his murderer was never discovered, and Rothesay was declared King James IV of Scotland.

As for Margaret, her legacy lived on through her son, raised and educated under her supervision. When he did take over the running of his Kingdom, King James IV proved to be an intelligent, and wise ruler. But he tragically died too early in his personal rule, leaving a one year old son to take his place.

Queen Margaret's Coat of
Arms at Stirling Castle

Did the words believed to be spoken by Margaret prove prophetic after all? One source wrote 'Despite his demands', she could 'curb [the King's] unseemly desires by good sense and restraint'. Within two years of her death her husband was dead, and James IV would be haunted by the battle of Sauchieburn for the remainder of his life; he would wear a chain of penance around his waist for the remainder of his life, adding a new link each year. If Margaret had lived it may not have come to such a tragic outcome, likely she may have been the voice of reason in a male dominated world. But it was not to be.

Margaret died at around 30 years old, young by today's standards, but in her short life she proved a successful consort. She provided an heir and two spares for the Scots; participated in saving her husband and the true line of succession through her own intelligence and common sense; and she raised a future King who to this day is considered one of Scotland's better rulers. Sadly, she is often forgotten, with few reminders of her Queenship. The most noticeable tribute to her can be found in her coat of arms set in a stained glass window at Stirling Castle.


Further Reading:

Scottish Queens by Rosalind K. Marshall

James III by Norman MacDougall

James IV by Norman MacDougall