'WHY HIM?': Rape Culture Has To End!

The story of Brock Turner has been all over the media; Facebook is bombarded with constant updates on the story. And it's one we should be using as a cautionary tale for future generations because it has happened too often. A young man with a bright future throws it all away by raping a young woman. It's a story that we see too often. But what came next is worse.

The mother of Brock Turner wrote a letter to the Judge who sentenced him to 6 months in jail, declaring 'please be kind and merciful to my beautiful son'.

Does she understand that her son is a rapist? When she wakes up in the morning she asks herself 'Why him?' Does she see him as the victim?

Brock Turner did have a bright future ahead of him. And quite possibly Olympic glory lay in his future if he worked hard enough, is something any parent would be proud of. Then he was arrested. For rape. He attacked and violated a young woman who will have to live with the trauma of that attack for the rest of her life.

He's already serving a paltry six month sentence that will be shortened to three. To women everywhere that sentence is a joke. So why is his mother begging the judge to be merciful? Because he 'made a mistake'? I don't buy it. And here's why.

All our lives women have been pigeon-holed by their gender; told to smile more - and we do it because it's easier than saying no. We're told by society how we should dress; fashion magazines constantly throwing new trends before our eyes and telling us we need this new dress or these new heels. And when we wear them we're instantly a target for catcalling; if we wear it too short then we're asking for 'it'. What? What are we asking for? To be forced into a situation that we don't feel comfortable with? Women do not get dressed up for the the pleasure of men. We do it because we feel good about ourselves. Why does that suddenly mean we're asking for it? What are we asking for? Humiliation? Degradation? No, no one asks for that.

Today we are still facing horrible stereotypes. No matter how you're dressed you're judged; if you have large breasts you are constantly leered at, often times pretending not to see it because you're scared that you'll cause a scene by standing up to their bullshit.

But these are cultural stigmas that start early. They start with the parents and what they teach their children on the boundaries of respect. And Brock Turner's parents are a huge case and point.

The father can't understand why his son is being punished for '20 minutes of action' and his mother wants to know why this is happening to her son. The '20 minutes of action' was RAPE. The young woman, the ACTUAL VICTIM was assaulted and those 20 minutes of assault will forever haunt her. The mother's reaction is worse in my opinion because she is a woman, she should be aware of the way women are treated in society, yet she writes to the judge as if her son was a victim here.

Yes, his dreams of a bright future are gone. But that is all his own fault. He saw that woman as nothing but a toy; and that is partly down to his parents! How can the mother not be appalled by her son's actions? How can she plead for her son? Because she is a mother? Perhaps. But she is also a woman. She says she knows what a broken heart feels like. So does his victim. And yet people are calling it a mistake. He wasn't in an exam, he was in a position where he had a clear choice of whether to respect that woman's boundaries or gratify his own perverted sense of authority. Because that is what sexual assault is about: Power.

It is time we stopped making excuses. Claiming that they made one mistake is not good enough. If they get away with it once then they'll think they can do it again.

Assault, whether it be full on penetration or someone placing their hands on you in a way that makes you uncomfortable is not acceptable. Women have rights. And it's time authorities respected those rights rather than look for reasons to let the man off the hook. Drink is no excuse. The length of a woman's skirt is no excuse. There needs to be a cultural change within our society, beginning with how parents raise their children; it is a parents responsibility to teach their sons that a woman is a human being worthy of respect. Start here and perceptions can shift over the next generation and our sisters, nieces and daughters will be safer than our own generation is today.